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 A Lava Lamp… so useful… and its still very hot…


Battle Scars

Alex examined his wound. It didn’t hurt but it looked pretty bad. It was a deep bite mark with black around it. He put some disinfectant on it and bandaged it up, not giving it a second thought. He walked into his bedroom, got changed and went to sleep.

Alex was startled awake by a loud crash coming from the from of his apartment. He sat up, still partially groggy from sleep, and flicked on the light. He herd a shuffling in the hallway and got up to investigate it. He got up, opened the door and was suddenly shocked awake. Before him stood  a grotesque being, it resembled a human, wore human clothing, but its skin was a slate gray and its eyes were pure black, it had bloodstains all over its shirt and hands and a few strands of raw mean between its teeth.

Before Alex could regain his composure it lunged at him and tried to take a bite of Alex’s neck. They both fell to the floor thrashing about, Alex trying to get this thing off of him, the thing trying to take a bite out of Alex. Alex was in relatively good shape but it was still overpowering him. Alex threw him off to the side and rolled under his bed. He bumped into something long and cold. His baseball bat! He remembered he hid it under here in case someone broke in. He felt something grab onto his ankle and pull. he quickly jerked his foot away and grabbed the bat. Rolling out from underneath the bed he saw the thing stand up and look directly at him. Alex brought up his baseball bat and prepared to swing for its head. The zombie lunged and Alex swung with all his might. He felt the bat connect and brought it back to prepare for another swing. He looked down on his bed and saw it’s unconscious body laying there. He bit his lip deciding whether to smash it’s skull in or to leave it go. He decided to contact the police and leave that whatever it was where it was. He slowly tiptoed around the thing, prepared to swing at any moment, and headed towards the kitchen.

Alex got to his kitchen and picked up the phone. He listened to make sure the phone was working and herd nothing. He sighed to himself and checked his watch it was about 6:30, the sun would be rising soon. He decided to wait until it was light out to go outside and see what happened. He moved his sofa against the door, set up a chair across from it and watched the door until it was light.

  -  19 December 2011


This has been my life this month.

386,871 notes   -  18 December 2011


You like Krabby Patties, don’t you Squidward

17 notes   -  18 December 2011

Saying 'sex' in school


Middle School:

High School:


108,947 notes   -  18 December 2011


Alex looked into the mirror and checked his teeth for the 10th time in the last 5 minutes. He had an interview for a new job scheduled in half an hour and he wanted to look as presentable as he can. He grabbed his bus fare and walked outside to wait for the bus. He looked around and noticed nothing out of the ordinary, considering he lived in downtown Huntsville he expected to see a few people wandering around, a homeless guy sitting in the corner with a sign, and other similar things. He as he got on the bus and a man accidentally bumped into him.

"Sorry" he mumbled in Alex’s general direction and hurried off in some other direction

"It’s fine." Alex replied and quickly stepped on the bus brushing off the dirt only visible to him.

Alex showed up to where the interview was scheduled. He saw a large white building with no distinguishable details. He walked up to the front door and pulled on the handle. The door was locked. Alex rang the buzzer and waited a few minutes. He herd a slight shuffle behind him and felt a sharp crack on the back of his head, his head slammed against the door and he fell unconscious.

He came to and shook his head to clear it. He then realized that was a bad idea. It hurt. He checked his pockets and realized he had nothing in them other than his cell phone and I.D.

"Shit." He sighed to himself "Really?" He then began the walk home. The interview was about 10 miles from his house so he estimated it would take 2 to 3 hours to get home. After about an hour of walking his left arm started feeling a bit sore. He ignored it and kept walking.

He was about 3 blocks from his house when he noticed a shape shift from a shadowed alleyway. He turned his head to get a better look when it lunged at him. It grabbed his arm and pulled it up towards its head Alex jerked his arm away and retreated a few steps. He was looking at a woman, most likely 30 years old, blood spatter on her face and some on her clothing.

Alex blinked “Ma’m are you OK?” She unleashed a feral scream and lunged at Alex again this time managing to grab his forearm and bite into it. Alex screamed in pain and jerked away, using his momentum to keep running towards his house. He ran all the way home, locked and bolted his door, and went to the bathroom to inspect his wound.

  -  12 December 2011


Tell me I’m not the only one who finds this utterly hilarious XD

6 notes   -  12 December 2011